No Break in the Champagne
‘Would you like some champagne,’ said the lady, handing us a bottle. ‘Only we’re getting quite squiffy over there.’ It was 8.45 in the morning, and the corks were already popping. But then this was a champagne weekend break in Reims, and we were there to taste and learn, and in many cases to buy as much champagne as could be legally carried back through customs.
We were scarcely through customs after taking the Shuttle through the Chunnel on the way out, when our comfortable coach pulled in at a Calais Supermarket. We stocked up for a picnic lunch with cheeses, patés, sausages, salads, wicked pastries and, of course, plenty of wine. Tour leader Pandora produced glasses, bottle-openers, plates, cutlery and crockery, and even before we arrived in Reims the ice was well and truly broken.
On our arrival at the 3-star and central Hotel de la Paix, we had about an hour to recuperate before the first tasting at 7pm in one of the hotel’s fucntion rooms. This was introduced by our wine guide, Andrew Williams. An affable and amusing Welshman, he writes about wine for Wines and Spirits, Drinks International and other publications, as well as being a Master of Wine. He was also a master of the art of making learning fun. ‘I am not from the Jilly Goolden school of wine appreciation,’ he assured us. ‘I don’t describe wines as smelling of tarmac and redcurrants. It’s all very personal anyway. To me pinot noir smells of damp hymnbooks, a smell which I love, and I might make a note of that as a personal reminder, but can you imagine putting that in one of my wine reviews? Sales would really plummet.’
Andrew goes on to explain that as champagne is probably the biggest single spend on wine that most people make, it helps to know what you’re looking for. ‘There are 5112 growers in Champagne, 215 champagne houses and 24 co-operatives. The area is awash with champagne.’
So were we too, very soon, as we made our way through the evening’s five selections, with the spitoons on each table remaining resolutely unused. ‘What does that remind you of?’ asked Andrew, as we sniffed one of the wines. ‘We smell spam,’ said someone enthusiastically. ‘Yes,’ said Andrew. ‘I think the correct term is charcuterie.’
Among the 35 imbibers were some who carefully examined the colour, swirled the glass and sniffed the wine while making notes, and others who simply knocked it back and said, ‘That was good!’ Actually, that was me, as the weekends cater for everyone from beginners to experts, including those who simply enjoy drinking champagne.
After our boozy breakfast the next morning, we are onto our coach for the first of several cellar tours… all including generous tastings, of course. At Cattier, whose address is 11 rue Dom Pérignon, I ask one of the other weekenders if he has been to the region before. Dr Shaw, a GP from Ross-on-Wye, tells me that he and his wife are on their 10th champagne weekend. ‘They’re great fun,’ he says. ‘They’re not snobby, you get all kinds of people come on them. Last time we had a group of young women who called themselves the Spice Girls, just having a girls’ weekend away from their men. People come because they enjoy champagne. We also usually buy our full allowance of 72 bottles to take back. We drink it once a week at home, but when you can buy it direct from the maker at £7-8 a bottle, why not?’
Cattier’s cellars are as impressive as their champagne: their ‘Clos du Moulin’ is served in first class on Air France. The cellars are among the deepest in Champagne. ‘We ‘ave 119 stairs,’ Cattier’s Philippe Bienvenu warns us as he leads us to the entrance, ‘but it is a good time for the jogging, no?’ He leads us down one flight into the first cellar, where their vintage champagnes are stored.
We descend more stairs to a cellar beneath this one, then yet more stairs to a cellar below that. I was expecting a hole in the floor to open any minute and Old Nick himself to pop out. At the lowest level is a 100m-long cellar where people sheltered during World War II, and the the smoke-marks from their oil lamps are still on the walls. Now, astonishingly, Cattier’s cellars store 1.5 million bottles of champagne.
‘Now I ‘ave some bad news for you,’ says Philippe, ‘because to get out again there are 136 steps, but I can see you are sportif people.’
At the top Philippe tells us: ‘And now I ‘ave a proposition for you. If you wish to taste our ‘Clos du Moulin’ champagne, you ‘ave only two choices. You fly First Class on Air France, or you come wiz me now to ze tasting room!’ We were behind him all the way!
Though the cellar visits vary with each trip, they usually include one of the famous names like Pol Roger, Veuve Clicquot or Laurent Perrier, mixed in with boutique houses and independent growers. Our last visit was to the delightful family firm of Petit-Le Brun, where children’s toys were scattered around the buildings and home cooking provided a final filling lunch before the journey home.
The weekend had whizzed by in a fizz of tastings and visits, with two anniversaries and a birthday being celebrated along the way. It was champagne morning, noon and night, quite literally, but I didn’t hear anyone complaining. Just call us lager louts with bubbles.